


I Need to Confess

by Jeniouis



Category: Avengers (2012), Captain America (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Slight Smut, Steve is caring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 11:06:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2148357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeniouis/pseuds/Jeniouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam meant to tell Steve before now. Before they were kissing, grinding against each other, hands shifting down to areas those wonderful areas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need to Confess

**Author's Note:**

> I meant for this to be apart of my [Internal Battle Grounds](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2037957/) but it didn't fit.

Sam meant to tell Steve before now. Before they were kissing, grinding against each other, hands shifting down to areas those wonderful areas. He had thought he would freak out by now but Sam was actually enjoying himself.

And that lasted until they were in his bed, cloths off, Steve was all over him and the blonde paused and asked Sam if he had any lube.

The drive from being stimulated on oh so many areas fogged his mind and it wasn't until now did Sam realize he was on his back. And that this was moving towards him being the bottom. Not that Sam had wanted to be the top but...

He had really meant to tell Steve before now.

But for some reason the right words didn't slip past his lips.

"Yeah, in the drawer right over there." Sam said, pointing to the nightstand. Steve nodded and reached for it, shuffling around in the drawer. Now would have been a great moment to seize and just tell Steve so he would know to be gentle

But as Steve moved, every muscle in his goddamn beautiful body flexed and strained and all Sam could do was lick his lips in anticipation.

"Got it." Steve said with a smile, effectively snapping Sam back to the present. Sam smiled back but his mind was still to sex-addled to fully comprehend what was to happen next. It wasn't until Steve smears some on lube his huge fingers and started lowering his hand did it fully click.

"I've never done this before." Sam said suddenly. It wasn't a complete lie and it was only part of it but not what Sam really needed to tell him. Steve paused, looking up at him with a gentle smile, tenderly rubbing Sam's inner thigh. God, that's what Sam loved so much about Steve. He was gentle with everything he did. Steve even kicked ass gently and Sam was never quite able to figure out how he did.

"Me too." Steve admitted and Sam had to smile. "We can wait if your not ready. I won't mind that." Steve said, one hundred percent sincere but Sam shook his head.

"No I want to do this." Sam said honestly. Because he did, he just wasn't sure if he could. But he was hard and so was Steve and Sam didn't really want to stop. Plus Sam figured he wouldn't be excited if something wasn't going right. Right?

"You sure?" Steve said and Sam nodded again.

"Yeah let's do this." Sam said and Steve smiled, gently, very gently, pressing a finger in Sam. It burned a little at first and Sam winced a little. Steve shot his eyes up at him and his finger paused. That's not what Sam wanted at all. "No, no, it's all good." Sam reassured him. Steve nodded and started pressing his finger into Sam again, carefully watching his face.

It felt good. Sam had expected it to hurt a little but Steve was making it enjoyable for him. The blond stayed gentle and slow and it was exactly what Sam needed. Steve opened him up easily, going up to three fingers. Sam was squirming by now, moans were slipping past his lips because this felt absolutely amazing. He was impossible hard and leaking more than he ever had in his life. Sam could do this forever.

Or so he thought.

"I think you're ready but what about you, you feel loose enough or do you want to stop or just keep it at this level." Steve said, carefully watching Sam's face. Sam knew Steve would be a considerate partner. That's what attracted Sam to Steve in the first place.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Sam said but again, his brain was sex-addled and he had been in euphoria, not really thinking about what the next step was. And then Steve was pouring some more lube on his huge, thick monster cock and Sam's mouth watered. Steve jerked himself a couple of times, smearing the lube around his cock and Sam nearly came from seeing that alone.

But now Steve was moving in between his legs.

"You still okay." Steve asked and Sam hoped he hadn't noticed him tense a little. Sam nodded with a reassuring smile. And he thought he was ready. He really did but then Steve cock just barely brushed across his entrance...

"I was raped!" Sam blurted at the Worst. Moment. Ever. Sam ran a hand across his face, trying to ignore Steve's horrified face, his hurt eyes.

"Sam, darling I didn't—I am so sorry." Steve said sincerely with so much pain starting to cover his face.

"I didn't mean—No, no, wait, I don't want to stop." Sam said quickly when Steve started to move away. Steve stilled and gave him a stern look that he always gave Sam when he thought his boyfriend was about to so something self-harmful. "No, I'm fine, really. I know my delivery doesn't seen to prove that but honestly I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you to be gentle…even though I know you are." Sam said though he knew he was just digging himself deeper.

"Samuel baby." Oh dear God, not full names. "I don't want to hurt you. I can wait."

"Stevie I'm fine. Really. I just - I just wanted you to know everything about me before we did this." Sam said sincerely because them making love for the first time was actually going to mean something for him.

Steve sighed, "Sam, I can wait. I think you need to wait."

"Well of course you do." Sam said, trying his best not to sound like an petulant child. "You're Captain America. You fought in wars like I did. You're automatically cautious about everything. But you don't have up be cautious about this I promise." Sam said sincerely. Steve looked unconvinced. "Look, why don't we just start out slow and if I freak out, you just stop."

Steve's face got that horror again. Apparently that wasn't the best thing to say. Now that Sam was thinking about it, he realized it was the polar-opposite of the right thing to say.

"That's like I'm rap-hurting you all over again." Steve said taking Sam's hand and kissing it. "I can wait baby. I mean that. This won't change nothing."

Sam groaned, ignoring how unbecoming it was. "Steve please, I just...they guy who did it, he was harsh and rough and I was just a kid. That's the only memory of sex I have, I just want something to replace that. And you're so gentle. That's what I want to remember so please." Steve seemed to be thinking about it at least. Sam gave him the most pleading look he could muster because he knew he would be alright. He just needed Steve to realize that too.

"I-I...There are other ways to get off without penetration." Steve said and Sam nearly banged his head in the wall. He knew Steve would end up looking at this from a tactical point-of-view. Trying what would satisfy both of them and still not scar Sam any more than what he already was. But Sam knew a losing fight when he saw one so he relented, knowing this was the best he was going to get.

"Fine." Sam grumbled, fully disappointed. Steve chuckled slightly, kissing Sam's cheek.

"I was too back before the serum. I was raped." Steve admitted. "I can see that you're not ready Sam."

Sam's jaw dropped, "Someone hurt you like that?" Sam softly asked. He was hurt. He had hoped no one would have ever had hurt Steve in the way he was.

Steve nodded, "And it took me a long time to deal with it so don't rush yourself Sam. I can wait." Sam sighed and nodded, smiling slightly.

"Okay." Sam said. Steve smiled wide and kissed him, giving him a hug.

And honestly, Sam was glad they were waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed it. :D
> 
> Please leave feedback and feel free to criticize; I am always looking for opportunities to grow.
> 
> I’ve launched an E-Zine where people submit their favorite fics and the best ones get published in the zine. I’m doing this because I want to create something that acknowledges fanfic writers and makes them feel confident about themselves while bringing people of different fandoms together. To submit your favorite fics, go [Here](https://goo.gl/forms/h0LI8s7WGgZV2gBl1)


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